Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Cleanliness


Promise not to judge me.

I'm about to tell you something embarassing.  I have no idea how to clean a shower. 

I know, that's not embarassing.  BUT, what that means is, that I have never cleaned my shower.  Ever. 

Yes, I realize that makes me totoally disgusting, but you promised not to judge.

It's really difficult for me to understand how a shower gets dirty.  Even when you've gone number 1 before getting into the shower, and the sound of that rushing water coupled with it hitting your skin makes you have to go again, and you absolutely can't hold it a second longer, and would get the entire bathroom all wet if you jumped out to pee, and so you sometimes, just sometimes, HAVE to tee tee in the shower...I mean, the water washes the tee tee down the drain after all. 

So, how does it get dirty?  It gets washed every single time you get in.

Yesterday I noticed that there was some different colored weird stuff in some of the shower corners.  The thought of said weird stuff touching my razor, and then me shaving my legs (and yes, now toes and feet because it's summer) with said razor, totally freaks me out. 

P.S., why is it that my toe hair has the ability to grow longer and thicker than the hair on my head?  I am a lady for God's sake! 

Shelve the comments about whether that's debateable, please. 

So, I found the harshest, most chemical-y thing I could find and covered the shower with it.  The Alexanders are all about chemicals--my husband's mother used to bathe him in Pine Sol when he got chiggers.

Then I used a product called Liquid Fire to unclog the hairiest drain in the South.  Well, the Duggars probably have the hairiest drain in the South, so second hairiest.  

I did feel slightly guilty about what I was flushing into our groundwater, and then quickly remembered that this is Louisiana.  There are WAY worse things in our lakes and streams than my Tilex and Liquid Fire. 

I returned yesterday evening to find that the different colored weird stuff had simply morphed into a different color of different colored weird stuff. 

Huh? 

I mean, was I supposed to do something else?  Scrub it?  Rinse it?  Talke dirty to it?

So, today, my project, besides working, has been to google how to clean a shower. 

I'll let you know how it goes.