Seriously?
Please tell me that you've seen this show, "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant".
I mean, apparently not knowing that you're pregnant until you a) deliver a baby into a toilet at a fast food joint; b) deliver a baby into a toilet at your house; or c) deliver a baby into a toilet at your baby daddy's house is an epidemic in America.
I mean, apparently not knowing that you're pregnant until you a) deliver a baby into a toilet at a fast food joint; b) deliver a baby into a toilet at your house; or c) deliver a baby into a toilet at your baby daddy's house is an epidemic in America.
There is more than enough material to have a weekly program about it, with several different women starring in each episode. This is completely shocking/fascinating. And even more shocking and fascinating that these women would actually admit to having no clue on national TV.
So, let's go through the list:
So, let's go through the list:
You quit taking birth control. Check.
You recently experienced rapid weight gain. Check.
No period. Check.
Crazy mood swings. Check.
Baby repeatedly kicks you in your ribs. Check.
Still no clue. Check.
Yeah, not sure I'm buying it...
Call me a cynic, but where I come from, this is what we refer to as denial--I'll even spare you the whole river in Egypt reference.
The most confusing part is, that EVERY time EVERY woman is asked by the 911 operator whether she could possibly be pregnant the answer is a resounding NO. You are a women, right?
Call me a cynic, but where I come from, this is what we refer to as denial--I'll even spare you the whole river in Egypt reference.
The most confusing part is, that EVERY time EVERY woman is asked by the 911 operator whether she could possibly be pregnant the answer is a resounding NO. You are a women, right?
I swear to God (I know, I shouldn't swear to God), I took a pregnancy test before writing this blog entry. Not that I eat at McDonald's unless I have the most severe kind of hangover, but it would be just my righteous luck to be all hungover and have some 16-year-old high school dude have to coach me through lamaze while on the can at the McDonald's on Line Avenue. Let's get real--my water is much more likely to break at Taco Bell, not Micky D's.
And for all of you out there wondering why I have a stash of EPT's at my house, every so often, I get completely paranoid that I've served up some hypothetical embryo a couple-o-martinis and a bottle of wine. This might shock you, but I'd feel really bad if my kid got fetal alcohol syndrome. Plus, y'all would all totally talk trash about me behind my back, which is way more embarrassing than having a kid with that whole close-together-eye thing. [Insert picture of that creepy banjo-playing dude from Deliverance here.] Not to mention those pesky protective services people...
Here's a little nugget for you though: My mom had a hot buttered rum on the way to the hospital when in labor with me. Just learned about that this year. Your water broke! Cheers! Have a shot that belongs in the hands of a college spring breaker!
I know. Sadly, it explains A LOT.
I would watch that show while I was pregnant with a baby doing sommersaults in my belly & call BS every episode! I too have a hard time believing that these women really didn't know they were preggers. I even saw one woman have TWINS! However, I do have a friend who worked with someone that had a baby in her cubicle at work. She swears she didn't know she was pregnant even though she'd already had 3 kids. Explain that to your husband -- you come home from work carrying a new baby & your laptop.
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