Fortunately, I now know how to spell fortunately (see previous post for multiple misspellings). You can always count on your hubby to point out your mistakes. Awww, and all this time, I thought that was why we had mothers.
Unfortunately, between Thanksgiving and Christmas my butt has grown to epic-size proportions. Think full on apple bottom with a little cottage cheese on the side. This lead to my first Spanx purchase.
Oh. My. God.
Tight does not even begin to describe that torture device. No wonder they work; you can't eat, drink, sit, stand, smile, walk or talk while wearing them. They are so tight that they are crotchless. Why, you ask? So you don't piss your pants in the time it takes to find a pair of scissors and cut them away from your screaming body. Somewhere, some woman is crying, because the manufacturers did not think to add the same safety feature for your butt hole. Regardless, if you for one second thought that the fact that they are crotchless might make them sexy, you are sadly mistaken. (Did crotchless underwear cease being sexy in 1988? Was it ever?). Due to the (w)hole crotchless feature, if you try to pull them down below your boobs, they give you a fine ass camel toe.
If you are considering anorexia and a load in your pants, I recommend Spanx. For everyone else, there's always diet and exercise.
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